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I'm a little heavier nowI had the experience of being in top physical appearance a few years back, working out, dieting, inspite of my condition I really looked and felt great but many things where happening inside my brain, inside my glands until one day it all collapsed.
I have had the experience of dedicating myself to all that which is physical, I reached many goals but somewhere along the way my mind, and my brain were suffering from thyroid storms, wrong medicine dosages, stress, absence seizures , you name it. In order to overcome this new form of attack I had to emphasize my spiritual life rather than the physical part of myself I was starting to look good on the outside again but all the internal damage was very well concealed.
One day coming out of the gym I had what seemed like a very dramatic respiratory crisis, which was the beginning of my lung problems.On top of everything else! It has taken a while to have than under control but thank God it's in control now. I can breath easily again I don't use an inhaler anymore and I haven't had vertigo for a while so I can slowly start exercising again.... just about time before I get any heavier due to my thyroid condition. I'm facing this with contempt but I do know I'm running out of clothes that fit and my body is screaming to have all the extra weight off. I move slowly, bend down slowly but I thank God I feel good inside. I totally feel myself again, inside. The goal now is to keep a good balance of spiritual things, mental challenges and physical shape.
I feel confident I will do well. I have God on my side and excellent new doctors.
I translated for a parents seminar this Saturday it went well, I felt secure and confident, I have learned not to let my extra weight cause feelings of low self esteem. Our real beauty and value is inside and it reflects on the outside. I have been told my face shines with tenderness and God's love more than ever before. It's not a proud comment, it is a happy comment of what God can do in our lives and hearts. We are more than good looks and good bodies. God knows how much I have tried to get mine back and I almost get there for brief periods of time. I guess I have learned not to give up but not feel frustrated I don't. I do my best, I'm fighting against several illnesses. The victory I've had is not how I had expected, it is not superficial. If you are going through this kind of trial I want you to know that. There are greatest victories to what meets the eyes look for those edifying triumphs in everyday life. Don't focus on negativism, if you are get up, take a shower, get help, set your mind to it. It is not your fault if you feel devastated, you are fighting against an infirmity, you may have war wounds that need healing.
2 Corinthians 4:16 (New King James Version)
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